The Word says there is a season for everything, to plant and uproot etc. etc. I thought I knew what season I was in, but it seems not so. I do not know how to phrase this in a spiritual way, but the Discipleship Gap Year ministry vision has not succeeded in the way I envisaged. I have thrown everything at it. It is clear I have been naive and somewhat arrogant in thinking I can create something out of nothing. (no pun intended).

I have no candidates for 2025. My model does not / will not work. I believe deeply in discipleship and raising up the next generation to serve God and His body. This is particularly true of young men. This year I have learned what does not work and little of what does. I have discovered more of my limitations and arrogance. I have literally prayed all through my Christian life that the Lord must do what it takes to make me more like Him. I am happy to announce that He is more than happy to oblige, and I am less happy now as I am unsure of everything.

The Lord has stripped away, and continues to do so, the things I have done to make a name for myself. When I look at my life, I see that, in the main, that is what underscores all the work I have done in the name of the Lord. (now before you jump in and tell me “Not so”, I understand that the Lord uses us as we are and makes all things good etc.). The road I am on right now is deeply questioning the constructs I have set up in my life and ministry as I have sought to serve Him.

We found ourselves in Pringle Bay, no name, no reputation, no status, alone forging a way forward. It’s a very humbling thing to move from front and centre to offstage and out the building. I have never spent more time weeping before the Lord than these last two years, trying to understand, where did I go wrong, why did I go wrong, and recognising my deep sin in being determined to make a name for myself – look what an awesome ministry Ingo created, what a man of God. More than that is putting the Lord in my debt by stepping out (jumping off a high place) in the name of the Lord and thus forcing God to make something out of my poor thinking and bad decision making.

I cannot tell you what lies ahead. I can tell you that I need to find a way to earn a living and look after Suann and me. The Lord knows my heart, He knows what He has put in me, and what His plan is with me. I have a great rear-view mirror that gives me confidence in following Jesus as He is faithful and good. Phrases like dying to self, faithful in the small things, you can’t do anything without Christ, do not let the left hand know what the right hand is doing, seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and the significance of one person coming from death to life, are having a greater pull in my life and thinking.

I’m just about finished with a basic TEFL 180-hour course, and I can then start finding opportunities to teach English as a foreign language online. I still have another 120 hours to get my diploma. We are renting out downstairs over the holiday period and then on a longer lease for 2025. Please pray with us for people to book and rent. A handful of people support us financially and we have asked them to continue this until I can cover that with teaching, hopefully by middle 2025. I have cut our personal overhead as much as possible by reducing insurances etc. I will have to close the GoMaD NPC to reduce fees as well as the GoMaD bank account.

This will hopefully allow us to stand on our own two feet and engage in whatever the Lord puts in front us to do without the ministry having to cover our financial needs. Who knows how the Lord will use our home going forward. Who knows why I have an overland vehicle. Who knows how the Lord will use Suann and I in the work of His kingdom. All we do know is that He is Sovereign, He is Lord and Saviour, and we submit to that. Our humble prayer is; use us, send us.

We want to thank you for being in our corner. We take courage from that. I have tried to convey in broad brush strokes our journey and what lies immediately ahead. The consequences are mine and mine to deal with. I’m happy to make time if you wish me to go into more detail. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord.